Admittedly, not all people who date look for long-term partners, but even if their intention is for short-term companionship, the process is similar. Be a friend to both he and his ex in terms of your support for what is right, over what you may legitimately want and need. Men who do not find themselves ever satisfied with only one woman are clearly not likely candidates to change that behavior in the future. And I remember being caught in the middle of their custody and child-support arguments after their bitter divorce. True healing will come if you surround yourself with godly counselors that love you enough to tell you "wait on the Lord" instead of "do whatever feels right". At our organization, we help people with similar stories every day. I could never do that without "stoning" myself. When that happens, they may not be as susceptible to any new relationship. That bond resulted from a relationship that had no right to exist. Be honest with yourself, your mate, your children, your church, your relatives, your friends, and your life. If money is enough reason to stay married, then he should truly be married. Truth sets you free. Each woman is connected to the man but they are not usually connected to each other. Once he does that, he may find himself feeling trapped by the woman who moved in the situation too quickly. I mean this is what I believe He tells me. However, the goal for those separations is not necessarily to save the marriage; it is to save the person.
He is getting divorced to her, but it does take awhile. Because she has not divorced, they hope she and Dad may get back together, but that hope becomes confused when she dates someone else. Unless he is immoral without conscience, Dinesh did not spend the night with her purely for sexual reasons. Insulated immorality develops through a process over time. It does not solve problems. In either case, a relationship they begin while being separated is just another kind of infidelity. For example, we know the Lord… Hates divorce. For these reasons and more it is important to remember… Separation is not divorce. The heartache that arises if and when those clandestine relationships are discovered never harbors a good outcome. The question definitely is not new. By leaving his wife in California when they were already having difficulty, Dinesh initiated a process that promised a bad end. Though immoral by their beliefs and values, they insulate themselves against strong guilt by justifying their behavior because of their deep love for each other. Dating started the process. Please don't see this letter as a criticism or me looking down on you or throwing rocks. The consequences of living much of my life like that still plague me at times if I take my eyes off Jesus. She may be saying HE cheated on her. Even if they believe they should wait until marriage, when love intensifies many become sexual. Anything I believed was ok, was. They probably started on the destructive path without realizing where it headed. It is hard to develop relationship with someone with whom you do not interact. Maybe they worked together, had mutual friends, or went to the same church. They are in committed relationships with two women at the same time, most often without their primary partner knowing of the other woman. Clearly, I believe that Dinesh and Denise should never have dated and that they crossed moral and spiritual boundaries. No one that has experienced the devastation of a tsunami is able to begin or complete the recovery process on their own. I highly doubt they're not hooking up again she cheated on him. You cannot DATE another woman's husband. Separated people, as all married people, have no right to develop that deep emotional connection with anyone other than their spouses.
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