Is he really your boyfriend or has your imagination carried you away in this relationship? Are you yourself on dating sites and found out through your own account that he has been logged on? Consider how you discovered this gut wrenching piece of information. Well, a couple months later, again I was on his computer, found reoccurring pictures of the same girl. This has been most acutely demonstrated over the last week by the data dump from the Ashley Madison platform , which revealed that the site had millions of straight male subscribers, but very few women signed up. Neither reflects well on him, or his self-esteem, or the way that he feels about your relationship. That all happened in one day. Unless he is a complete idiot, he is aware this would not make you happy. When you find your boyfriend is still on a dating site, you have two choices really. For example, you may tell him that this is unacceptable to you and would lead to ending your relationship, or you may tell him that you would prefer that he stop looking. If there was infidelity involved, then there is going to be a major trust issue between the two of you that you will have to overcome this time around. That is what we call mirroring a man. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. We met on an online dating service. Ask him why he needs to continue looking if he is already in a satisfying relationship.
I asked him about this, and told him that while I had no wish to pry into his personal life, the question for me was whether he was looking to keep his options open for now, it being early days. The high reward and low cost nature of online cheating makes it difficult to stop. You can confront him or you can downgrade him and pull back from the relationship. But, the problem with this is twofold: That is what we call mirroring a man. Concerned Girlfriend Dear Concerned Girlfriend, This is a very interesting question, and it really depends on how you feel about your boyfriend. A man committed to you would rather lose his arm than cause you despair. Unless he is a complete idiot, he is aware this would not make you happy. Did you just stumble onto this information because you share the same computer, or is it more complex than that? Not with the ears that want to believe, but with that gut! Do you have reason to mistrust your boyfriend? I was searching for a site I had gone to before so I pulled down the bar where you can see past sites visited and ratemybody. At that stage I was ready to end the relationship and leave him to it. What are the benefits of doing this? Bottom line here though is this. That all happened in one day. He had a roommate and I just figured he used it to take pics of himself for the computer. What do you think and can you help as to what I should do. I believe that once you know more about what you want from your relationship, it is important for you to talk to your boyfriend and clear the mystery of this situation. Are you yourself on dating sites and found out through your own account that he has been logged on? I was messing around one day and found a ton of pornography on it. This is a very common problem. Unfortunately, there is no easy solution. Some couples, after they break up, realize how much they really loved each other and how petty their conflicts were. I understand what these sites are and at first I just thought he was going to them just to look at the women.
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