If you can't do that forgive and forget and not mention then I don't think you're really in a space to be friends yet. Recognize that the friendship may take time to develop and it may be something new, not a return to what you had before, and that's okay. Asker, it's okay if you dislike or disagree with some of the answers you get but you need to just shrug and take what use you can from the stuff you find useful, not fight with answerers about it. Remain cordial since you have friends in common. I can hardly call her an ex given that we casually dated anyway. You should not expect her to try and change your feelings or experiences; by ending the relationship, she's told you that she does not want you to try and change hers. But you're not in a good place to be a good friend to this person so you should leave her alone. You say she did things that bothered you while you were dating but it seems kinda like you two weren't working as a couple, and she didn't verbalize that - instead she did things that upset you. You can't require this of her anyway. That's why you broke it off.
But you're not in a good place to be a good friend to this person so you should leave her alone. Also consider that you might be able to bring this up months from now, or years, after you have a new grounding as friends. Many, many friendships and relationships are about setting aside small grievances from the past. That's why you broke it off. She probably won't be surprised that it felt bad. Prepare to give it space and be responsive to what's happening in the moment, and don't force things on your side or hers. Figure out whether you want to be her friend, for real, or if you just want to air some dirty laundry. You respect her confidences and privacy. All you get to do is put your thought out there, and she will respond in some way, but you can't control her response or get an apology. It especially made no sense because she wasn't like this prior to dating, and after we broke it off she came off as caring about my life again. Since then I went full-on no contact from her. If you feel you really want to bring it up, I guess you could say, "Hey, can we talk quickly, there's something I want to get off my chest. Do anything but focus on this. If you can't do that forgive and forget and not mention then I don't think you're really in a space to be friends yet. You can't require this of her anyway. Eventually I develop a crush on her and we start dating. I can hardly call her an ex given that we casually dated anyway. Understand that she probably has issues of her own, which are just as valid as yours. There aren't any romantic feelings anymore, and I know there is mutual interest in us becoming friends again. She sounds like she didn't know how to be in that relationship and probably didn't know how to get out of it. Maybe to some people it's impossible but I know I can do it. Does that feel okay to you? Let your encounters happen by chance- let them be brief and friendly. Show some humanity and some humility and remain no contact. See a therapist if you can't re-frame this and still feel anger towards her. I mean, it does sound like it just
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