Overall, the authors listed 58 behaviors that people employ when playing hard to get, including: Male students from a Hong Kong University were asked to read a hypothetical date story, or meet a real woman in a speed date situation. European Journal of Personality , 27, Acting busy, staying busy, and prioritizing other things. They can also be a way to test a partner's level of interest and commitment. Playing hard to get only works when someone is already at least a little interested. Playing hard to get: Thus, the strategy that made the person more likeable was not the same as the strategy that got them picked for a date or relationship. Taking a long time to respond to calls and texts, or not responding at all. In that situation, being a little bit of a challenge can increase their perception of your value as a lover and motivate them to chase you more. Seeking attention but then disregarding it. That may give you time to build their commitment and interest in other ways, such as: If the partner is not committed or invested in you, however, playing hard to get can backfire. Specifically, they suggested that playing hard to get might increase feelings of "wanting" in others a desire to pursue the aloof person but at the same time decrease "liking" positive feelings about the person. How exactly do people play hard to get, and what tactics do they use?
Being hard to get a hold of. Understanding an elusive phenomenon. They were also more likely to be used by those with narcissistic or manipulative personalities some of whom also played hard to get to cover that they were actually dating other people, too. Showing initial interest, and then letting it wane. The team hypothesized that playing hard to get might only work under certain circumstances—specifically, that such a strategy would only work when partners were already committed and emotionally invested in the relationship. So, which do you choose? Recent research has brought a bit more clarity to the question, finding that sometimes playing hard to get is a good way to build desire. Individuals who were detached and non-engaging hard to get , however, sparked more interest and desire. In contrast, participants who were not committed paired at random found the easy-to-get date more desirable. In other words, if the person was not already interested to some degree, playing hard to get would not motivate them to chase. When people are denied what they want even a little , they tend to want it all the more! Participants who were already committed to the interaction those who had chosen the date found the hard-to-get date more desirable. What It Means for You As the research indicates, playing hard to get is a useful strategy…under the right conditions. Specifically, they suggested that playing hard to get might increase feelings of "wanting" in others a desire to pursue the aloof person but at the same time decrease "liking" positive feelings about the person. Individuals who acted engaged and interested on the date easy to get were seen as more positive and likeable. To test these hypotheses, Dai and associates performed two experiments: Seeking attention but then disregarding it. Results from these experiments offered some insights about how playing hard to get works. Therefore, it is better to be more agreeable, pleasant, and straightforward—increasing liking. European Journal of Personality , 27, Other advice suggests we should be more direct and straightforward, improving trust and liking. Overall, the authors listed 58 behaviors that people employ when playing hard to get, including: How exactly do people play hard to get, and what tactics do they use? To test a partner's level of interest and willingness to commit. Making others work to get them and chase them. Taking a long time to respond to calls and texts, or not responding at all. What are the reasons people play hard to get, and does it get them what they want?
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