How did your parents respond to you being a lesbian? My mother is very adamant and not discreet in her disappointment that I have not yet found a nice Vietnamese man to date. This dynamic translated into my views of masculinity and feminism, and ultimately, my dating preferences. Bumble and OKC have been the best so far in terms of matches and responses. How does your Asian-ness intersect with your ideas on masculinity? I was on it for less than 30 minutes and deleted my account. I feel like Asians fall into that gray area of not being accepted as a person of color while being seen as a weird fetish. Unless they were white; oddly, my mom thought that was more palatable because she was fed this idea that white equals success. She's a straight woman living in Austin, Texas. Everything I want, I get on my own. I think the pecking order is something along the lines of: I appreciated the experiences we shared, but looking back, I think I let my insecurities get in the way of fully living in the moment of our relationship. Yes, because my parents have two pretty different perspectives:
My parents grew up financially unstable in China. Whenever the rice got too low in the bowl, they would add water to make the illusion that there was more food. My mom assumed the position of financial and familial authority, and my dad supported that dynamic entirely, taking on the role of raising my sister and me at home. At the time, I was working and living in New York City. The women I have dated understood that I desired equality within a relationship, that we would be partners. Not only do I not wish to date within my own race, I prefer to date my own gender. Vicky is an American of Vietnamese, Korean and Chinese descent. I appreciated the experiences we shared, but looking back, I think I let my insecurities get in the way of fully living in the moment of our relationship. She's a straight woman living in Austin, Texas. What have your experiences with interracial dating been like? The fetishization Asian-American women have to deal while dating is pretty widespread. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Do you date Asians exclusively or have you had experiences with interracial dating? Yes, because my parents have two pretty different perspectives: We met dancing at a club in NYC on a Friday night. How do your sexual orientation and gender identity affect your dating life as an Asian-American? What do your parents want for you in a partner? Fortunately, instead of minimizing my concerns, my current boyfriend a white male listens to my grievances and makes a conscious effort to advance the cause of racial and gender equality. In a speed-dating study conducted at Columbia University in , Asian men also had the most difficulty getting a second date. Full of white guys. Granted, he was more muscular and taller, but when things like that happened, I became much more afraid of losing him because I thought that I was easily replaceable. Whenever we would go out clubbing together, boys would always hit on him first. Like my mother, I am resilient and I am a go-getter. I value my independence, financial and otherwise, and have always been drawn to men who find my independence to be empowering, not emasculating. I tried East Meet East. Well, I had a fairly matriarchal upbringing, which is common among Filipino families. They look back at it and laugh now, but my mother recalls having to share one bowl of rice for dinner with all her siblings.
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