I want to be in a longer term relationship with him maybe 2 years but I can't see anything more unless after the two years I think he is "the one". If he can't enthusiastically get his head around dating you for whatever the reason, you deserve better. I think there's a part of you that wants to help him and persuade him that you'll never believe that, and prove to him that he's a good guy. But I believe you see this with women as well. I dated with that age gap at your age. If you are 40 years old, try dating women who are between 33 and 47 years old. When I was a youngster, I dated a few guys who were much older and, yeah, they all turned out to be sort of losers. No, that's not usually how people approach relationships; typically, they are more open-ended in the the expectation is just that they'll continue until they don't, get progressively more intimate unlike this one and I don't mean sexually intimate , and timetables only enter in if one party is wanting to move forward faster than the other, and then they have to decide how long they are going to give the current relationship to develop. He figures if that was going to happen it would have happened by now. Just because dating without a knot of tension in your stomach is more fun! I didn't feel that it was inappropriate, or that anyone was "robbing the cradle" or that I was being taken advantage of in any way. Sorry I may have painted him in the wrong light: I realized that I wasn't ready to be his long-term relationship which is what he was very ready to have and so I broke it off. So there you are in the working world for the last three years, and now you can date sophomores in college.
For purposes of his anonymity, I am going to call just call him "Son. He wants to have sex with you and then put in caveats and pretend he has a deep emotional life. They love to have some young studly buck come over and hit on them just as much. I wasn't even having a very good time! What I'm getting is that he doesn't love or care about you. He's been meticulously careful about building up to it, the issue is more that I don't like oral and he thinks I should experience that before actual sex. There are power dynamics with such a large age gap - these are in his favour. I think the issue here is that this man is attracted to you, but really wants to have sex, NOW, and is not patient enough to wait for you to feel comfortable about it, or reasonable enough to have a respectful and rational, no-pressure conversation with you about it. Please understand that men will be propositioning you in ways that reflect poorly on them not you for many many years to come. But all in all, I wouldn't worry about it too much. So the ripe old age of 14 -- the age when you still have pimples, are as insecure as can be and are unlikely to get anything more than a kiss from a woman your own age -- is the only time when you can enjoy dating a woman your own age? It sounds as though he likes you but is aware of the difficulties above. He has definite ideas of how he likes to do things and what he wants. It is not meaningful to "regret" your life, but now that I have the opportunity to advise someone with almost exactly the same questions and choices, I really want to say: He isn't entirely clear on what you're waiting for. I believe there is cause to question the relationship I wouldn't have posted if I didn't. They would love to hang out with an year-old guy. Find your own courage to be the best woman you want to be, and I can guarantee that men will find that just as sexy regardless of age. So at 46, you finally get to have incredible sex with a beautiful, mature woman -- but you have to wait 46 years to do it, according to this urban legend. You don't plan when relationships will expire. One reason is because of the innocence factor. I realized that I wasn't ready to be his long-term relationship which is what he was very ready to have and so I broke it off. If he can't enthusiastically get his head around dating you for whatever the reason, you deserve better. OP, the mini break-ups and chaste coffee shop lust isn't romantic because it is not leading anywhere solid. That he has weighed in with his opinion on what type of sexual intimacies you should try, and in what order, despite the fact that he's rejected you as too young, yet he texts and phone calls you like you are his girlfriend
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